How to Be an Adult, the best-selling book by David Richo, provides a roadmap for attaining spiritual and mental well-being. Based on his background as a psychotherapist and workshop facilitator, Richo explains how the neurotic ego transforms into the spiritual self using the metaphor of the heroic journey.
He talks on how fear, wrath, and guilt may be obstacles, and how conquering them can boost one’s self-esteem. Additionally, he tackles the dual issues of intimacy and personal limits.
Additionally, the book offers methods for regaining completeness and love as well as for integration. Richo maintains a website and places a strong emphasis on spiritual viewpoints in his writing.
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About the Author
David Richo, PhD, is a well-known author and therapist who conducts courses on spiritual and personal development.
Fairfield University awarded him an MA in counselling psychology in 1969, Sierra University awarded him a PhD in clinical psychology in 1984, and Saint John’s Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, awarded him a BA in psychology in 1962. California has licensed Richo as a marital, family, and child counsellor since 1976.
In addition to being a psychotherapist, Richo has taught at the Pacifica Graduate Institute, the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, and the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. He now teaches at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley in Berkeley. He works at the Community Counselling Centre in Santa Barbara, California, as a clinical supervisor.
Known for incorporating Buddhist, poetic, and Jungian viewpoints into his writing, Richo is the author of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them and How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving.
The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, When the Past Is Present Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth are some of his other works.
Both Santa Barbara and San Francisco are home to Richo.
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Review
Richo describes the path to psychological and spiritual growth using the heroic journey metaphor. He begins by talking about “personal work,” the three obstacles that come with being an adult—fear, wrath, and guilt—and the sense of accomplishment that results from overcoming them.
He then talks about relationships and the two-pronged issue of setting healthy closeness and preserving personal limits. He concludes by talking about the methods of integration, which include adaptability, making friends with the shadow, using dreams, and cultivating spirituality via self-acceptance and unwavering love.
Along with other strategies that offer specific guidance on the process of growth, this book includes helpful quotes, affirmations, and summaries of thoughts. Public libraries and seminaries are suggested.
Second Review
If you have read Robert A. Johnson’s books, such as “Owning your Shadow,” “We,” “She,” “He,” and others, you will see that Rico’s books are a logical progression of how to apply that knowledge to truly alter your life. Look, you shouldn’t judge these three David Rico books by their glaringly obvious self-help names.
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The author outlines the procedures required to essentially let go of the childishness of our wasted childhood and ultimately grow up in simple, straightforward language without ever speaking down to you or treating you like it’s a “For Dummies” book.
I’ve combined the three titles because I think that reading “How to be an Adult,” “HtbaA in a Relationship,” and “The Five Things We Cannot Change…” together will give you the best idea of what to expect at any given stage of your own epiphany. Lying is quite simple, especially to ourselves.
The ego will stop at nothing to protect itself, and these three volumes essentially lay out the obvious in a way that only the most obstinate of people could make a mistake in “growing up.” Understanding why you did this in the first place and why you decided to keep up the dysfunctional behaviours is the first step in accepting personal accountability for your life’s choices.
I am aware that a lot of people in the profession are suggesting things. I recommend the Johnson volumes first, then the Rico novels, in that sequence. I provide them in this way to my pupils who are looking to improve their own lives. Someone must wish to repair themselves; you can’t fix them.
Together, these volumes provide you with the solutions and the tools to release the dreggs. In addition to providing answers to the fundamental first question, “Why am I like this….” these books open the door to a wider universe of alternatives and possibilities for a better life. Arwythur
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Summary
This book’s density—it isn’t filled with “filler”—is what I adore most about it. Everything in it is really helpful, well-structured, and intricate. The book’s concentration on psychological and spiritual integration is something I truly value; unlike far too many writers, the author hasn’t used it as a platform to flaunt himself, his tricks, or as a self-promotional advertisement.
Moreover, the book is not so lacking in the author’s style as to be a lifeless textbook; rather, the information is conveyed in a kind, sympathetic, and relatable manner. The author seems to have struck the ideal balance in this regard. I think all nonfiction books need to be succinct, accurate, and relatable.