Health & Wellbeing

What to talk about with your therapist

It can be a little uncomfortable to see a therapist. After all, you will be the center of attention. The first few times can be peculiar with this. You can feel as though your therapist is grading you or putting you on the spot. These issues are shared by many people. But remember that your therapist is working for (and alongside) you. They have no business opining or contrasting you with others. Instead, they are there to embrace you, support you, and assist you in achieving your objectives.

Your therapist will evaluate the first session or two and will ask you many questions about yourself, your past, and the circumstances leading up to counseling. Having a discussion should be simple. Talking about the more complicated concerns could require more work as you progress along your trip.

Some counselors have a propensity for using a systematic approach and will direct your sessions. Some therapists would rather let the patient lead the discussion. Well, in this article, I will be discussing what to talk about with your therapist, the discomfort with therapy, and how to know if therapy is working for you.

Let’s begin!



What to talk about with your therapist?

The quickest response is whatever you wish to discuss. You get to decide what to talk to the therapist about because it’s your session. On some days, you might feel the need to vent about an encounter from the day before that left you with a range of emotions. In other cases, you might want to delve further into a persistent problem. Each session won’t be the same, but it doesn’t have to.

Read more: Physical therapy: Definition, Types, and Benefits

You might be thinking specifically about something. Your therapist may also ask you what you’d like to talk about at other times. Some therapists might let you take the lead during the session. Here are 12 ideas to think about if you’re not sure how to start a conversation with your therapist or don’t know what to talk about.

  • Present feelings
  • Life goals and values
  • Sex and sexuality
  • Small issues
  • Your strengths
  • Patterns and behaviors
  • Relationships
  • Avoided thoughts and conflicts
  • Recent events
  • Childhood memories
  • Past traumas
  • New life challenges

Coping skills
Mood changes

Present feelings

Even though you could have experienced these emotions throughout the week, you don’t have to start that way if you’re not feeling them right now. Concentrate on your current feelings and express them honestly, even if that means saying something as simple as “I didn’t want to take this hour for therapy today because I’m slammed at work.” The reality is that your therapy needs fluctuate throughout the day. It’s acceptable if you thought you’d talk about your relationship but ended up complaining about your employer the entire time.

Life goals and values

No matter how things are going, it’s crucial to keep in mind what’s important to you. Discuss your goals for the next year or even five years with your therapist. Perhaps you want to start a family or would prefer to have a different type of job. Make a plan to achieve your goals after seeking assistance in defining them. In the end, the best thing about therapy is that it may help you figure out and create the life you desire.

Sex and sexuality

Yes, discussing sex and sexuality is acceptable during therapy sessions. It is a characteristic of the human experience and can significantly affect your mental well-being. It’s okay to discuss everything. Even those therapists who specialize in helping with sex and sexuality-related disorders.

Small issues

It’s simple to believe that “deep” or “serious” matters must be discussed in therapy. However, keep in mind that there is no “correct” subject to discuss in therapy. You are free to discuss anything. Some people indeed seek therapy to deal with a specific issue, such as anxiety or despair. However, sometimes people are simply going through a transition in their lives and need someone to talk to and support them.

Small offers the following advice if you’re having trouble opening up: keep in mind that nothing is off-limits. In therapy, people discuss anything and everything. They discuss their hopes, dreams, concerns, disappointments, wounds, and feelings of humiliation, as well as their chats with their mother, their spouse, perceived parenting failures, sexuality, and their most recent date, according to her.

Your strengths

Positive topics are also acceptable in therapy. It can be challenging to perceive your good traits, but your therapist can assist you in finding them. You might feel more secure about the future by focusing on your strengths. For instance, you might enjoy particular pastimes. You can have a more fulfilling life by investing more time in these. You might also desire to develop the skills or character characteristics that can help you succeed better in your work. An excellent place to investigate these is in therapy. Talking about your strengths is a very crucial topic to discuss in therapy, so don’t overlook that.

Patterns and behaviors

In between sessions of treatment, it might be a good idea to keep a diary to record your thoughts, patterns, and behaviors. This can be especially useful if you’re shy or have trouble recalling information on the spot. Of course, you’re not required to bring your journal or read from it during class. However, Small believes that by writing things down, you can search for any patterns in your thoughts, feelings, or actions that you might want to discuss with your therapist.


Now and then, partnerships present issues for us all. You might be having trouble dating or maintaining a committed relationship. Couples frequently have recurring arguments about the same issues. You can better understand reoccurring conflicts in relationships with the aid of your therapist. They can help you through it and as you make beneficial adjustments. Or perhaps you just want to communicate more effectively in general. You can also get support with this from your therapist. You may use instances from previous or ongoing relationships as examples.

Avoided thoughts and conflicts

It may be something you feel embarrassed to think about or that you feel is stupid to worry about. Perhaps you consider it to be “insignificant” or “stupid.” We all censor our emotions and evaluate them. However, counseling is the ideal setting for exploring all of our sensations and thoughts, even those we believe we shouldn’t be thinking about.

For instance, many people believe they don’t have a right to be unhappy about the epidemic since they haven’t gone through as much difficulty, such as losing their jobs or losing a loved one, yet they still find it difficult to deal with its effects. It’s acceptable to experience whatever emotions you’re having, and it’s acceptable to discuss them in treatment.

Read more:  What is cognitive treatment based on mindfulness?

Recent events

A lot of people find that discussing daily issues with a therapist is beneficial. It could be helpful to speak it out, for instance, if you’re having trouble deciding on an important career move. Relationship concerns, parenting stress, and work pressures are a few more common challenges.
It would be fine to bring up, for instance, the recent argument you had with a friend. Discussing it might make it easier for you to handle it the next time.

Childhood memories

Many of us had significant childhood events that still affect us today. Some of these are visible, such as sexual or physical abuse. However, other circumstances, such as experiencing bullying as a teenager or your parents’ divorce, can also have an effect. As you become older, being aware of how these events have influenced you can help. Your therapist can assist you in comprehending your early life and in learning how to move past traumatic events.

Past traumas

Your therapist can assist you if you’re under a lot of stress or dealing with the aftereffects of a terrible experience. Any encounter that leaves you feeling incredibly scared, powerless, or as though your life is in danger might be considered a trauma. In their lifetimes, at least half of all people will suffer trauma. In many circumstances, people begin to feel better after a traumatic occurrence within the first few weeks. However, some victims of trauma go on to acquire a mental illness like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

New life challenges

Life is full of trials and changes. Some are embraced. A few are feared. Others are merely small hiccups in the journey. Nevertheless, they all have an impact on our lives. Your world can be turned upside down by marriages, divorces, babies, deaths, large moves, changes in school or jobs, diseases, or pretty much anything else that brings about change.

Your discomfort with therapy

It takes time to develop trust, and it’s difficult to open up to a stranger about your ideas and feelings. Don’t be hesitant to mention it if you’re finding it difficult to open up to your therapist, which is very normal. With that knowledge, your therapist can start laying the groundwork for a relationship of trust that will eventually enable you to be more open. “Therapy is about a relationship between the client and the therapist,” claims Small. “If a client is having trouble opening up, it may be a sign that the therapeutic relationship still needs to grow in trust.

If your session is working out

There’s a chance your therapist isn’t the right fit for you if you don’t fully feel at ease with them, and that’s okay. There are various forms of psychotherapy, as well as various professional backgrounds and specializations for therapists. Consider how at ease you are requesting exactly what you require from them, advises Rapport. Some individuals like a more directive strategy. Some people like practical tools, such as those for managing anxiety. Others want to feel comfortable discussing a certain topic with someone who is particularly educated about it.

Coping skills

In life, people frequently encounter both good and unpleasant things. With the proper skills, you can survive more challenging times. Ask your therapist for advice on how to handle challenging circumstances. They might offer advice, like how to get through a panic attack. They might also assist you in developing coping mechanisms for stressful situations at home or at work.

Mood changes

Do you frequently feel depressed? Do you frequently struggle to get out of bed? Perhaps you’ve noticed that your energy and motivation have suddenly increased. Or perhaps you notice that your mood goes from low to high very quickly. You might want to discuss these experiences with your therapist. They might indicate a mood illness, such as bipolar disorder or depression. Your therapist will probably question you further if this is the case. After that, you can develop a strategy for improving your mood together.

Read more: Different Therapy Careers and Degree Types

Watch the video below to learn more about What to talk about in therapy:


In conclusion, knowing what to talk about in therapy is an important step in maximizing your counseling sessions. You can use therapy to improve your mental and emotional health by setting objectives, being honest and open with your therapist, and actively participating in the process.

Always keep in mind that counseling is a secure place where you can explore your feelings, thoughts, and worries without feeling judged. The secret is to successfully communicate with your therapist, establish reasonable expectations, and work together to develop a personalized treatment plan, whether you’re seeking therapy for specific problems or personal development.

Remember that it’s good to take your time and that progress may not always be linear when you start your therapeutic journey. The knowledge and skills you acquire during therapy can have a significant and long-lasting impact on your life, assisting you in overcoming obstacles, promoting personal development, and discovering greater pleasure and contentment. So, by actively participating in treatment and talking about what actually means to you, take the first step toward a healthier, happier self. That very first chat marks the beginning of your path to self-discovery and recovery.


What am I supposed to talk about in therapy?

  • What Made You Get in Touch with a Therapist? Consider the moment you decided to look for a therapist.
  • Moods Regarding Therapy.
  • Therapy experiences in the past.
  • Current Connections.
  • Career/Current Position.
  • Those Places You Feel Stuck.
  • Creative projects.

How do you keep a conversation going in therapy?

  • Pose Specific Questions. You can start asking the proper questions even before your first appointment with a client.
  • Be Open-handed. Therapy sometimes has a clinical or even business-like atmosphere, especially in the first session.
  • Create a Strong Relationship.
  • Engage in an exit interview.
  • Actively hear.
  • Maintain Contact.

How should I start talking to a therapist?

  • Read the biography of their career. Most offices and organizations will have information on their therapists before you begin.
  • Before the session, keep a journal.
  • Obtain Clarity.
  • Consider Baby Steps.
  • Give your therapist the reins.

What are some good questions to ask about therapy?

  • How frequently do you expect to see me? How much time?
  • How are counseling goals set up? How do they behave? What does success mean to you?
  • What happens in an average session? What is the session length?
  • What kind of reading or homework do you assign to patients?
  • How should I get ready for our first meeting?

How to know if therapy is working

A decrease in symptoms, such as feeling less depressed, could signal progress. It could entail fostering deeper bonds with others, engaging in more fulfilling activities, or simply having a clearer vision of the future. Everyone responds to therapy differently, and you get to decide when it’s effective.

What do I say in my first therapy session?

You’ll probably find yourself discussing your current symptoms or difficulties in addition to a little bit about your relationships, interests, strengths, and ambitions. Most significantly, you will start to connect with your therapist during that first session.

How do I go deeper in therapy?

Recognizing the link between the past and the present, validating your emotions, and comprehending the potential causes of your feelings are all crucial. Examining unmet needs and underlying issues that emerge in events that happen in your daily life may be a part of going deeper in therapy.

How do you bring up difficult topics in therapy?

Spend some time before your session writing down the subjects you want to cover or the issues you’ve been having. Regarding your experiences, be truthful. Keep in mind that you are not required to speak continuously. Your therapist will take the lead in the talk because they want to help you.

What questions do therapists ask in the first session?

  • What symptoms do you have?
  • What led you to seek therapy?
  • What in your life do you think is wrong?
  • Some inquiries concerning your past, such as your youth, schooling, relationships (family, romantic, and friends), where you currently reside, and your profession.

What does my therapist think of me?

Genuine concern is what drives us. If we didn’t, it would be unethical for us to collaborate with you. Giving the client “unconditional positive regard” is the foundation of therapy. This means that even when we disagree with your behavior or beliefs, we don’t judge you.

Well, that’s it in this article where we discuss What to talk about in therapy. Hope it was helpful if so kindly share it with others. Thanks.

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