According to David Richo, “love is more of a way of being present than it is a feeling, which is what most people think it is.” Richo presents a novel viewpoint on relationships and love in this book, one that emphasises developing into a more loving and practical person rather than searching for the perfect partner.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships examines five characteristics of mindful love and how they are important in our relationships throughout our lives, drawing on the Buddhist idea of mindfulness:
- Being mindful of the here and now, paying attention to what is happening in our interactions and paying attention to what is being said,
- Accepting people and ourselves for who they are.
- A recognition of our many blessings, our limitations, our desires, and our heartbreaking human situation.
- Respectful touching and holding are signs of affection.
- Not attempting to take charge and letting life and love be exactly as they are, with all of their joy and suffering.
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These five basic ideas—what Richo refers to as the five A’s—form the foundation of mature love when they are well comprehended and put into practice. They assist us in eschewing blame, fear, and judgement in favour of an open, compassionate, and realistic outlook on life and relationships. Relationships become deeper and more meaningful when these five A’s are given and received, and they also serve as a platform for personal growth.
About the Author
David Richo, PhD, is a well-known author and therapist who conducts courses on spiritual and personal development.
Fairfield University awarded him an MA in counselling psychology in 1969, Sierra University awarded him a PhD in clinical psychology in 1984, and Saint John’s Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, awarded him a BA in psychology in 1962. California has licensed Richo as a marital, family, and child counsellor since 1976.
In addition to being a psychotherapist, Richo has taught at the Pacifica Graduate Institute, the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, and the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. He now teaches at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley in Berkeley. He works at the Community Counselling Centre in Santa Barbara, California, as a clinical supervisor.
Known for incorporating Buddhist, poetic, and Jungian viewpoints into his writing, Richo is the author of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them and How to Be an Adult in Relationships:
The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, When the Past Is Present Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth are some of his other works.
Both Santa Barbara and San Francisco are home to Richo.
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Review
How to Be an Adult in partnerships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving takes a psychotherapist’s viewpoint while studying partnerships. For couples and single people who wish to build mature and long-lasting relationships, author and educator David Richo offers spiritual and practical activities.
Richo softly and empathetically guides readers on what he refers to as the five A’s: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. He emphasises paying attention and letting go. His book, which advocates “letting go of ego,” will be beneficial to anyone who wants to change themselves and their relationships. (June)
With his stated formula for adult relationships—Acceptance, Appreciation, Attention, Affection, and Allowing—David Richio gives every endeavour a deeper significance. His ideas from years of private practice as a seasoned psychotherapist have been kindly offered.
I’m on Chapter 4 and think it’s a really well-written book with therapeutic strategies to approach and honestly think about appropriate ways to embrace an adult relationship that has the ability to succeed when two individuals come together and develop together.
Let’s stop making excuses! Miss or hit! or I was unaware, or that sounds good to those who believe differently than I do. Inane mantras! In fact, this charming companion book makes me actively responsible for my own work before reaching out to a possible partner.
Individuals who are already committed might make necessary corrections using this very insightful but seldom used method of getting to know oneself through a personal inventory of one’s own distinct humanity and sustaining qualities. Love is the essence of all people.
Therapeutic techniques are unquestionably necessary for the task of removing or undermining emotional barrier layers. Stevie’s ageless lines, “Today, love is needed.” Has it ever occurred to you that love might require love today? strikes a deep chord with everyone who is really in love for the right reasons.
Taking a humble seat and reading this possibly life-altering/correcting book is something I owe to myself. It is unavoidable to do a complete, egoless self-inventory of reinstating and setting standards to encourage successful interactions. If we take the same care of our relationships as we do our cars, we will undoubtedly LEARN OR WIN in our love for one another! EXPENSIVE!
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Summary
David Richo explores the intricacies of adult relationships in “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving” and provides helpful guidance on navigating them. Insightful advice on how to engage in “mindful loving” and what it means to be mature in relationships is provided in this book.
Psychotherapist Richo expertly combines psychology, Buddhist philosophy, and personal experiences to help the reader develop better relationships. The “Five A’s”—attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing—are presented by him as essential components of conscious loving and successful relationship management.