The unrelenting quest for self-worth has turned into a virtual religion, and a totalitarian one at that. Someone is always more gorgeous, successful, or brilliant than us, despite our culture’s insistence that we must always be above average to feel good about ourselves.
Furthermore, we seem to be unable to maintain our high self-esteem even when we are able to do so for a short time. Like a ping-pong ball, our feeling of self-worth fluctuates in tandem with our most recent achievement or setback.
Thankfully, self-compassion is a substitute for self-esteem that many experts think is a better and more efficient way to achieve pleasure. According to Dr. Kristin Neff’s and other prominent psychologists’ study, those who are more accepting of their flaws and shortcomings are happier than those who constantly criticize themselves.
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About the Author
In 1997, Kristin received her Ph.D. in moral development from UC Berkeley. in the University of Texas in Austin, she teaches human development as an associate professor. Kristin developed an interest in Buddhism during her last year of graduate school, and she has since been meditating in the Insight style.
She chose to study self-compassion, a key concept in Buddhist psychology that hasn’t been scientifically studied previously, as part of her post-doctoral studies.
She has created an 8-week curriculum to teach self-compassion skills in addition to her groundbreaking study on the subject. She and her colleague Chris Germer co-developed the curriculum, which is named Mindful Self.
Review
This book will teach you how to relate to your inner life with genuine attention if you’ve ever wanted to. Kristin Neff provides insightful, useful advice on the road to emotional recovery and profound inner transformation by utilising a potent fusion of Eastern meditation techniques and Western psychology. ― Radical Acceptance author Tara Brach, Ph.D.
I read this book just in time for my 20th birthday, which is in a week. I constantly try to live a life of love, understanding, and compassion in order to overcome my upbringing in an abusive home.
I’ve learnt a lot from Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion, including what particular actions and ideas make up compassion and how to apply those ideas to oneself, which has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. A passage illustrating Neff’s three principles of self-compassion:
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According to my definition, self-compassion has three essential elements. The first requirement is self-kindness, which calls for us to treat ourselves with compassion and understanding rather than with harsh criticism and condemnation.
Second, rather of feeling alone and alienated by our pain, it necessitates acknowledging our shared humanity and connecting with others through life’s experiences. Third, it calls for mindfulness, which means that instead of downplaying or exaggerating our suffering, we must maintain a balanced awareness of our experience. To be fully self-compassionate, we need to accomplish and integrate these three crucial components.
We frequently view the concept of treating oneself with kindness with suspicion. Because of the pressure from society to achieve a lot and express little, we lose touch with our inner selves, even if we smile and listen to our friends when they need aid, and we nod our heads when people tell us about the benefits of optimism.
Neff’s book provides useful advice for boosting self-compassion that goes beyond unsuccessful gimmicks or self-esteem boosters. She explores how self-compassion may specifically improve our personal happiness, our relationships with our loved ones and significant others, and our everyday interactions with the outside world.
Neff supports her claims with several research studies and uses a variety of psychological concepts, such as social comparison, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, group identification, and much more, to make her points more coherent. One of my favourite sayings on the necessity of accepting our emotions and ideas is:
Our background, prior associations and experiences, hardwiring, hormone cycle, degree of physical comfort, cultural conditioning, past thoughts and feelings, and many other elements all influence how we think and feel.
Unknown earlier causes and circumstances have combined to create our present mental and emotional experience, as was covered in the previous chapter; these circumstances are beyond of our conscious control.
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Which ideas and feelings enter the gates of awareness and which do not are beyond our control. We cannot force these mental experiences to end if our own ideas and emotions are unhealthy. But we can alter how we interact with them.
One of my all-time favourites and maybe the best book I’ve read so far in 2015. Suggested for anybody who has experienced an internal voice of self-criticism, as well as for anyone who want to increase their self-compassion for any reason.
Self-Compassion is, in my opinion, the perfect self-help book since it respectfully and simply communicates its message while fusing unique insight, firsthand knowledge, research, and earlier work in the subject. Without a doubt, five stars.
Summary
Kristin Neff advances the entire field of compassion research with this intensely personal and extremely useful book. Kristin Neff provides insightful, useful advice on the road to emotional healing and profound inner transformation by utilizing a potent fusion of Eastern meditation techniques and Western psychology.
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For everyone looking for inner serenity and genuine, long-lasting happiness in their life, this book and its brave and kind author will become must reading. Excellent! The author, Kristin Neff, has introduced a revolutionary new concept—a better concept—self-compassion, which has significant ramifications for our way of life.
Neff offers crucial lessons for achieving both personal and professional success through self-compassion, grounded in cutting-edge research. This book is significant. Readers can substitute the wings of self-encouragement for the chains of self-criticism by heeding its recommendations.