When we are constantly gripped with pain, worry, and dread, and when everything seems to be falling apart, how can we go about our lives? Pema Chödrön says the solution may be the exact opposite of what you might think.
Here, in her most cherished and celebrated book, Pema demonstrates how confronting and intimately relating to unpleasant experiences may expand our hearts in ways we never would have thought possible. Drawing on ancient Buddhist teachings, she provides transformative strategies to turn negative habits and suffering into endless joy and habitual calm.
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About the Author
American Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön is descended from Chögyam Trungpa. The first Tibetan monastery in North America founded for Westerners is Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, where she teaches as a resident instructor. In addition, she is the author of several novels and CDs, such as the best-selling Don’t Bite the Hook and When Things Fall Apart.
Review
In my opinion, this book is “tough-ass Buddhism.” There isn’t any chicken soup, anything cutesy, or anything romantic here; rather, it’s a cool-toned introduction to the straightforward but strict practice of Buddhism as a tool for transformation, a new perspective on the world and oneself.
It appears to be similar to the Stoic response to hardship: “that which one cannot change should be a matter of indifference.” However, Chodron’s Buddhism and her admonition to approach unpleasant things with curiosity rather than defending against them include a hint of the trickster.
A new way of being in a world without closure or security is suggested by giving up hope, which allows one to attain security or the lack of suffering. To me, this is a whole different way to live in the world—not to reach for solace from the turmoil, but to have the patience to simply let things happen and see what unfolds.
Naturally, I read it when I was somewhat anxious about a personal issue and made the decision to attempt the patience method—not to try to “save” anyone or prevent calamity, but to let things unfold naturally without my help. Attempting to do nothing was undoubtedly labour. But without’ my’managing’ it in any manner, the matter did ultimately resolve itself. An enormous surprise.
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One of the most powerful concepts I took away from this was that we cannot tell if something is truly good or harmful because both positive and negative outcomes might result from the same item. The one thing that never changes is change.
My notes are as follows: “.” To be grateful for the transient good, however, is not the same as believing it must last. attempting to alleviate pain while embracing reality. Appreciation for the transient good.
The idea in the book that I find most significant is that traumatic events should soften rather than harden. Instead of resisting, accept it and avoid making it a story or a problem. To enjoy something without being attached to it, to suffer something without escaping, ignoring, or laughing it off.” That tool in the toolbox is honourable.
Whether it rains or shines, the delight there is the joy of balancing. Calm. However, I have trouble accepting peace as the ultimate good. The utmost good, in my opinion as a creative person, is to embrace the full range of feeling, to expand our humanity, to embrace it all.
That in order to enjoy life’s joys, passions, delights, and pleasures, one must be at least willing to accept the sorrow, fear, and grief as a natural part of it and refrain from adding to the suffering. And remember that the trouble of this moment is only that—that instant. We must wait for the blossom to bloom without making any predictions about the future.
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Although I do not agree with what Chodron is promoting here, I do think it is helpful, particularly in dire situations. I am aware that my imagination is a fantasy and that something else always occurs. Life is unpredictable, and we have no influence over it by yearning for a different outcome.
Chodron says that the most crucial element is: Did you become more open or more closed as you were squeezed? Were we angry and resentful, or did we get softer? Did we get smarter or dumber? Were we more giving or more judgemental of the world?
Knowing when to listen, to be open, to accept the new circumstances, to withdraw, to accept, “to find a new place to sit.” According to the book, one should tackle challenges in a novel way—one that hasn’t been explored before. That one alone was worth the book’s cost.
A self that can sit still is the result of meditation, which is the main focus of this book. It may be that patient. to sit deeply affected without telling a narrative. Avoid turning it into a narrative or a problem.
Summary
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is a handbook on dealing with life’s obstacles. It offers Buddhist practices and teachings that support us in finding compassion and inner calm throughout trying circumstances.
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This book, which is full of things to consider when life appears to be falling apart, is one that I will read again throughout the years. We make difficult observations about how we live in the world and how we contribute to our own misery by fighting against the events that happen to us and providing other ways of thinking and living. Worthless.