Why do so many of us continue to live essentially sad and unfulfilled lives in spite of our greatest efforts? David Richo uses his thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the fundamental causes of sadness and the unexpected key to achieving satisfaction and freedom in this thought-provoking and inspirational book.
The inevitable “givens” of human existence are some of the truths of life that we cannot alter: (1) everything changes and ends; (2) things do not always go as planned; (3) life is not always fair; (4) sorrow is a part of life; and (5) people are not always loving and loyal. Richo demonstrates how we might achieve emancipation and uncover the actual richness of life by letting go of our ingrained opposition to these givens.
Richo demonstrates how to open up to our lives—including the terrifying, difficult, and disappointing aspects—and uncover our greatest abilities by fusing Eastern spirituality and Western psychology with useful activities.
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About the Author
David Richo, PhD, is a well-known author and therapist who conducts courses on spiritual and personal development.
Fairfield University awarded him an MA in counselling psychology in 1969, Sierra University awarded him a PhD in clinical psychology in 1984, and Saint John’s Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, awarded him a BA in psychology in 1962. California has licensed Richo as a marital, family, and child counsellor since 1976.
In addition to being a psychotherapist, Richo has taught at the Pacifica Graduate Institute, the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, and the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. He now teaches at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley in Berkeley. He works at the Community Counselling Centre in Santa Barbara, California, as a clinical supervisor.
Known for incorporating Buddhist, poetic, and Jungian viewpoints into his writing, Richo is the author of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them and How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving.
The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth are some of his other works.
Both Santa Barbara and San Francisco are home to Richo.
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Review
In addition, I have a well-worn, well-read paperback edition with handwritten highlighting and margin notes. Like a lot of other reviewers, I thought the material was quite insightful and useful for handling a lot of the negative things that happen in life.
Richo’s superb writing about how we unintentionally set ourselves up for misery and frustration by not FULLY accepting the five things, as well as how to modify our expectations and responses to the five things, is what makes this book valuable, not simply memorising the list of the five things we cannot change.
He explains in detail how a genuine comprehension of the Five Things will manifest in our conduct in love relationships, the workplace, and the field of health.
I spent the most of my Christmas break reading this book because I want to handle my academic and personal struggles in the most mature and non-destructive way possible. Again, a lot of Richo’s ideas in the first part of the book had me nod in agreement.
His deeper and more profound views of how we should behave if we REALLY Embrace these Five Things caused my brow to furrow frequently in the second part. Although it’s not light reading, there is enough comedy and humanity to make it a pleasant read.
This is not the kind of self-help or psychology book that someone hoping for a simple, “read it once and I’ll be all FIXED” book would discover. This is the gastronomic equivalent of overcoming life’s obstacles and ruts.
I’m still working on the adjustments he suggests, and I’m aware that they won’t happen right now. However, Richo makes so much sense that I’m eager to keep working, changing my viewpoint, and reading this volume again and again.
By doing this, I expect to eventually comprehend the second half of this book and all of its philosophical and spiritual ramifications. I suggest this to friends who are self-aware and are really prepared to achieve a personal breakthrough on their own terms.
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Summary
A lucid, thought-provoking, and illuminating book about the realities of human existence—a wonderfully useful guide to fluid acceptance of life as it is. The Joy Diet and Finding Your Own North Star author Martha Beck
I ran out of highlighter when I started underlining some amazing parts in this book. The book is excellent throughout. Patron David Steindl-Rast